My greatest mistake is choosing to buy a bottle of wine instead of saying, hey this is really a problem. but thankfully, I had been thinking it for lots of years so that when my child says, it’s a problem and also if you don’t stop, I’m going to tell someone that might cause issues….
What is my lesson teaching me so far. So far I’ve learned this with sobriety….
it’s really hard but not as hard as I thought it might be.
I love not being so hot at night
I love sleeping so well.
I love not feeling exhausted all the time.
I love remembering what I did the night before.
I love that my kids are not being further hurt by my drinking at night and that maybe they are healing.
Maybe that giving up my bottle continues to return me to finding out who I am now that I have 6 years of widowhood under my belt, that I’m finding out who I am after losing weight and returning to hobbies that were physical that I could no longer do. That I am learning about new hobbies that are just pushing me forward as to keeping me back or just entertaining me while I tread water and not go anywhere. One of my desires that has come up in the last year or so is that I want to know what love is again. Alcohol distracted me from truly finding out and now, I don’t want to have that in my body and maybe not even near my life. I want to know what love is like as the new me, this incredible, strong, smart, vivacious, passionate woman that wants to just live life fully.