Mickey Mouse, we went to his house.

Since John died , you think of ways to make you happy again, even if for a moment.  Disney comes to mind, for me it sounded like Hell.

I first escaped to the beach.  I remember thinking, I just need to go think on the beach., but I had to wait 2 months and instead I went there for Christmas and created Christmas in Charleston and beach.  it helped.

Then I decided to go out west.  We had friends there and family and they all begged us to come.  So we went. I had never been and I wanted to see those mountains.  It at times made me cry because I wanted to look at John and for him to enjoy it with us.  but I did it.

I went back to the beach a few more times, and I went to Italy.

Then I was ready.

Trip planning has been a way for me to get distracted and have hope.  Disney did just that.  I could plan and reserve and dream and study.  Then we got there and we just enjoyed.  I kinda am pinching myself about it.  It did not hurt.  I wanted him there but I felt like he was always with us.  It did hurt a couple of times on the bus, when famiies were all around and daddies were snuggling their kids.  I know it bothers my kids because they have said, it makes them cry and miss their dad.  So I suck air and distract them.  I hug them and tuck hair behind their ears, I scratch their backs, I nuzzle them.

I took my kids to disney.  I did it.  Single mom owned that trip. Thank you John.

oh what to dream of next.  ……. Canada?   New England?  🙂

I spent the last of the hunk of money for the trip so no more.  It’s camper time for us.  🙂

 

One comment on “Mickey Mouse, we went to his house.

  1. When my mom passed away, I couldn’t bear Christmas without her – my daughter and I loaded up my grandsons and went to Disneyland for Christmas Eve – a 7 hour drive from where we live – then drove back on Christmas day in time for dinner …. it made that Holiday so much easier to do. Hugs to you …. we all deal the best way we know how.

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