2013

I never believed in lucky numbers or unlucky.  I had of course known about the number 13 but honestly, I really did not believe in it.  So a lot of bad stuff happened in 2013 and I did not even really think about the 13 part until 2016 and then I kinda went.  huh?

First I thought of 2013, and then that’s when John died.  that’s sad.  oh gosh, 2013 is not a great number supposedly.  Then I thought, well actually other yuck stuff happened to.  like, our dog died.  Our Zena dog died a month before John and we all cried and cried.  I really missed her.  that’s not good.  Then I remembered John did not have his contract renewed for the first time in teaching.  He was devastated and it was awful to go through as his wife, as his friend, as his person and it was awful because I honestly was not supportive enough.  It was a blow to him.  This was on top of in March, he lost his Dad.  Then before that it had been a year of stress in his job of dealing with a rough class.  It was not a good year for John.

For me.  I had been accepted to grad school and I started.  I was elated.  I had gotten a sorda promotion and raise.  I had submitted a proposal to present nationally and it was accepted.  I was going to NYC to study with one of the top schools in the nation for a week.  For myself, it was a career winner.  For John it was horrible.

Anyway, this year, I have talked to several of my friends about writing. I’ve submitted  few things and it was shared which was huge for me because that meant I was open about something so raw I was putting into words.  It vulnerability and I don’t like that. But I love writing and coming from a place of being told, that I suck to others being said, no you don’t.

So I have thought about doing more with writing to continue to heal and soothe my soul, but also to crank out my ideas in a creative way to share.  As I’ve thought about how to frame my writing and what I need to share, it’s about grief.  I want to share and help heal, just as other writers have done and they so helped me.  I want to help others.  so for some reason, 2013 is resonating with me.

2013 will be a frame.  It’s catchy.  It’s just.  plain and simple and if you step back before, during and after reading my material …. per say you….. It would frame it all.  So that’s where I am.

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