it’s a rainy march pi day. and i miss john. so i decided to think about why…
well it started with pintrest and pinning ideas to well, pass time…
and I saw a tuna sandwich. yuck.
but it looked like a salmon patty. and then i missed John.
John could make the best salmon patties. I do not like ketchup but the only time I will eat ketchup is when I have a salmon patty.
When I was eating healthy, John baked them as opposed to frying them. either way they were good and I have no idea of who he made them.
I also miss his onion rings.
and his french fries.
I miss him being asleep on sat mornings like this when it’s raining and he slept in. I would get up, get coffee and piddle on the computer, talk to the kids. and then I would sometimes crawl back in the bed to snuggle with him. maybe bring him coffee.
I also miss staying in the bed with him in the mornings and surfing the web but he was right beside me.
I miss his skin.
I miss him hugging me.
grief finds me and i swear I almost strangle on the strength of emotions it evokes. and I think…. how in the world did i make it through last year?
when grief finds you and pulls you down, you realize how bad you are hurting. I’m actually trying to be really aware of it and if I need to be with grief, ok but it sucks.
I kinda don’t want to do my homework and I want to go to the movies with Anna and take her to see Cinderella. i might do that.
oh wait. let me remember this.
ashley- remember when you are missing John, do something with your kids because it makes it better.
I miss John being a dad. i miss him loving anna
i miss him being Will’s dad, his guy.
i miss him guiding Kaegan through ideas and life.
i miss him liking his favorite song.
i miss him perking up for something that excited him. beer, fish, computer game? funny fart stories. our animals, plants, gardens.
I miss him gardening so much.